Thursday, 18 March 2010

Autistic Happenings


Things have been rather hectic of late at Maison Strange. I've been very busy in the run up to the Living With Autism art workshops which I'll be helping deliver tomorrow.

Just to keep things interesting Lyla's ramped up her autistic activities at home.

I normally like to ponder and explain these idiosyncracies of autism, but I'm so drained a the moment, I think I'll list some of them and lay it open for you, lovely readers!

1. The egg-smashing has resumed. This time, kiwi-fruit are also involved

2. Lyla smashed a window. It wasn't part of a tantrum, she simply picked up a rock and threw it at the window. When asked why she did it, she cried.

3. Lyla broke the washing machine circuit board whilst trying to crack the child lock.

4. She dug up ALL the daffodils and replanted them with onions from the fridge (interesting this one?)

5. Lyla has consumed half a bag of frozen peas and hidden the rest of the packet under the sofa.

6. She's shredded three rolls of Andrex into confetti sized pieces and arranged them in random sequences around the house. Apparently they're messages.

7. The last one's an old favourite.....pouring all the shampoo/ bath foam/ Fairy liquid down the plughole.

I leave you with a picture I took of my reflection in a clock yesterday, kinda sums up how I feel right now....

Monday, 15 March 2010

Hello Technorati!!!!

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For anybody not acquainted with the geekeries of blogging, Techorati is a blogging index. The code above represents me waving a flag at them shouting 'I'm not a Spambot'.........Don't ask.....

Tuesday, 2 March 2010

Life in the Fast Lane


ALL my talk about being Miss Marple last week must have had some effect as I'm now several steps closer to becoming a lady d' une certaine age!

Yes, I have been sampling the delights of the Mobility Scooter.

Since I broke my foot and ankle, forays into the world outside my front door have been few and far between. So, when the kids suggested a day-trip to The Museum of London, I was mildly pleased at the prospect. My other half had thoughtfully arranged for us to borrow a wheelchair at the museum.

What could possibly go wrong?

Apparently, the joke was on me. When I arrived at the museum, the desk clerk very helpfully offered to bring out my 'mobility aid'. Seeing her coming back on one of Brian-Potter's finest, I checked behind me to see which of the other mobility-challenged had queue-jumped me. Then the clerk offers to show ME the controls.

I didn't know whether to hold out for the wheelchair or just jump on the tartan-trailbike and pimp my ride! Having decided it was game-on, one twin immediately said 'Mummy, can I pretend I don't know you?'. This particular minor also refuses to walk with us when daddy pulls along his pilot's wheelie-bag. And frankly, who can blame her?

Her twin had other plans. Being autistic, she just saw the fantastic climbing possibilities.

So, some tips then on the art of riding a mobility scooter:

1. They have a pretty wicker basket (handy if Toto is in need of a lift)

2. An alarm sounds when you reverse. It is very loud.

3. You will have to reverse A LOT as the steering is crap.

4. If a child jumps on the back as you're traversing a ramp, it will tip over.

5. People will stare at you (think the opposite of 'Wow, there's Kate Moss')

6. They can go very fast. In a crowded museum this is very good.

7. The accelerator can jam. In a crowded museum this is not very good.

8. It is fun to channel this Goldie Lookin' Chain hit as you drive:

shopmobility, shop, shop, mobility
shopmobility, shop, shop, mobility
shopmobility, that's the one for me
i nicked it from my gran when she was watching tv
I gets to ride round, it's sound, for free
and everybody said, 'he's in the GLC!'

And if all these tips fail, don a scarf & shades a la Jackie O, & pretend you don't know yourself.

Finally, a note to my other half: NEVER EVER try this trick again.....you have been warned!!!
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