Saturday, 17 April 2010

To Show You How My Heart Beats

I've been dipping into Talkability recently, a speech & behaviour therapy book that helps you to communicate better with your child and teach them social skills.

One of the chapter's I've been concentrating on is responding to your child's cues to start a conversation. Apparently they're more likely to respond if the topic is one of their choice.

I find it hard to talk with Lyla.

Firstly because she often ignores me, gives one word answers or if she does respond says something so confusing and way-out that it stumps me. And then she runs off.

So, when she came in this morning and put this empty red sweet wrapper in my lap, my first instinct was to put it in the bin.

But, having swallowed a whole chapter of Talkability last night, I used her action to try and engage her.

So, I said her name, then asked her what it was for, then paused - apparently this silence is a very important cue for an autistic child.

After a few seconds wait, she turned around, looked me right in the eye and said 'To show you how my heart beats mummy- it means I love you'.


I'm still beaming, it's such a privilege for me to be 'let in' to her world.

Let's hope there's lots more to come....


  1. Oh wow, I am beaming here too:D Thats just lovely. Let us know more about the book as you go through it, it sounds interesting:) Jen.

  2. wow - this is powerful stuff! What a statement. Sounds like a great book. You are on one heck of a journey. Did you take the pic too? It's fab.

    Can't wait to see your art over on experimental art-ing! ;)


  3. Thanks Jen & Amelia- the book's great, really easy to follow, found it in the NAS magazine...will definitely post some more on it........

    ....yes, the pic is all mine- that's the red sweet wrapper!

  4. Hi Rachel. What a warming post. I found your blog via the experimental art course. Look forward to getting to know you more.

  5. This brought a lump to my throat - it must have meant such a lot to you. Here's to many more such moments.

  6. Hi Rachel, I have just happened upon you on Twitter and I am very glad that I have! (I am @francescajlewis on twitter, am following you now). My son was diagnosed ASD last May, he is three. So we are lucky to have had an early diagnosis but it's taking me a very long time to adjust to things. Anyway - thank you for your wonderful, honest blog, which I will now follow avidly. I am not ready to blog about my son, I keep my blogging on the superficial side as it's my way of coping. But would love to come to London sometime to have a chat - I am also keen to meet Amelia who I've also made contact with recently. This blog is brilliant, you express so much that I feel. Francesca (or Cassandra in the blogosphere!)x

  7. That is a gorgeous story. I have had a really hard day with my daughter. This reminds me how vulnerable they are. Thank you. x

  8. That is truly beautiful. You have raised a wonderful child.

    CJ xx

  9. Hi, this was a beautiful story.

  10. This really moved me to tears. I am hoping that you will continue on this beautiful journey.

  11. I think that it the most extraordinary and beautiful thing I have ever heard.
    You are one clever mama.
    Thank you so much for sharing.
    Kat x

  12. Oh, that is beautiful. To hear that, so wonderful from any child but especially from one who finds it hard to communicate. Lovely!

  13. Thats beautiful. Just wanted to stop by and say that :)

  14. What a lovely story and a lesson there for me to - sometimes with children it is so hard to be patient and try a different way but when you do the rewards can be amazing.

  15. You've written this so well I feel like we've witnessed something of the magic that happened in that moment. It's pretty awesome (and I hate to use that word, really hate it!) ....but it really is!) x

  16. oh wow, that is amazing. How fab for you. Mich x

  17. Wonderful. And what a conversation stopper! I bet you were lost for words. Thanks for this moment. The book sounds great too.


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